I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
