He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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