I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
