Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
