I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize