I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
