what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
