After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize