i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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