Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We have started to decorate penises.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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