You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I want to have your abortion
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
