Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize