I wish you could order shots online.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize