I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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