Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
its liver damage thursday
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
