happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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