How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
