it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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