Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
