can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
