Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
