remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
