It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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