Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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