So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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