sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
