Cold hands, warm shart.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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