Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
