I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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