i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
