Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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