I woke up to her vacumming the grass
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
