No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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