normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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