And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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