Having a random hookup so left but love u
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
