Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
