she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
