You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
