My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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