i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
