you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize