The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
