You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
