Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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