he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
