May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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