sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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