I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
