Small penises have feelings too.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
