is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
