One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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