Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
