i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
