Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
