Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
