I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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