Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
