At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
