i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
