Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
