I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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