I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
