Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
