I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
