You're so nebulous sometimes
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
