Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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