wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
