rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
