she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
