gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
