i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
