Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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