sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
