addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
