Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
