Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
