I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
