i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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